Posts Tagged ‘do it’

The nevus of all talent shows is so much destructive than how less it is detectable at first sight. Can you relate to that annoying sense of impotence you feel in front of the smallest washing labels of your favourite t-shirt of all times? Well, that. And there’s no blade around. Teeth are all left. It’s about that freaking out element attributing art a need for competition.

I found myself crying like I never did before. It was just like I cried so many times for the same fucking reason, for other reasons, but I never had the chance to cry for the real reason behind. At first you realize you are actually crying and it’s kinda surprising because you feel great finally, it is a great time in your life, the greatest time you’ve ever had, you finally feel whole and you’re in your center for the first time, powerful and knowing that nothing’s gonna tear you apart anymore, and it actually is because this kind of crying is so new and you are not desperate. You are just crying and actually don’t know really why you are. Then you can’t stop and your brain just has the time to do the analysis and step forward with a thesis. Seeing someone who has just won, who has fought for that achievement as if there hadn’t been anything else to fight for in his/her life and finally… finally… there it is. WTF? Yay!!!!!! I did it!!!! I actually did it after all that I’ve done and tried and struggled after all that I had to give up, beyond all the failures, all the people calling me crazy, shaking their heads while you still have to believe in the dream of doing just what you have to do because you had the harshest time in your life in admitting to yourself you could deserve to win and knowing the strenght you never loose, never, never, never, never.
Oops. You lost.
Can’t think the word. Can’t know the meaning. Madness.
I watch the scars on my wrists and fucking know what is the meaning of that fucking XFactor advertising track. Yeah. Someone’s bound to get burned and it doesn’t mean you’re gonna die. I’m here to write it. I wouldn’t have had the chance to be myself after leaving for the other one.
Is it right to know and cross the boundaries of our beings? I underwent that shit not metaphorically and there’s no need to get so dark about it now. Some finally just realize that this moment is all that we have and is all about failing. No easy winners on the cunning ship.



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